Something struck a cord with me today. It’s been trying to strike over the last few months I think, but the release of Beyonce’s second film on her new digital album the self titled, Beyonce, gave it a little push and urged me to look back and reflect on 2013.
If you haven’t already watched it, I suggest you do so, immediately. It’s five eyeopening minutes of powerful statements, thought provoking ideas and makes you look at yourself from the inside out and consider what’s really important. One of the messages behind her fifth studio album is: “Finding the beauty in imperfection” and considers why us women compete so much with each other, not in terms of jobs or achievement but in our aesthetics and the way men look at us.
This past year has been full of achievements for me, I secured my first real job, passed my driving test, left my first real job to return to America and supervise a team of twenty-one staff, moved in with my boyfriend, hit a one year anniversary with him, finally lost two stone of university fueled weight, ran a 10k and most significantly and importantly I became comfortable in my own skin.
Since Year 9 I have ALWAYS been jealous of other girls, when I was 14 I envied everyone with a set of boobs because I didn’t have a pair till I was 16, at the age of 18 I went to university and gained a staggering amount of unwanted weight and became jealous of pretty much every female I met.
As the weight fell off, as it always does when you graduate I still saw a chubby girl in the mirror. When it wasn’t my weight that was the problem it was my skin, hair, lack of fashion sense or pretty much any other imperfection you could imagine.
But now I see someone completely different when I look in the mirror.