Earlier this week something very strange happened. After finding my ancient 1 GB Ipod in an old bag at the weekend, I felt compelled to fill my commute with the likes of Ne-yo, Pussycat Dolls and Westlife. It took me back, way back to when I was care free teen fretting over what to wear to Embrace nightclub on a Saturday night and whether or not I would get in with my older sister’s ID.
I didn’t expect to experience an epiphany; moreover I didn’t expect the lyrics of Tulisa from N-Dubz to spark it. In the midst of Dappy’s ‘na-na-naiis’ Tulisa, sang something that really struck a cord with me. ‘Trust me it will only get better” now, trust me, I would never trust the female boss. Her extra curriculum activities caught on camera and fashion choices say it all. But her lyrics hit me at a time when I can’t get over how much I miss my past. I know what’s causing it. For the last three years I spent my summers at an American children’s camp. It was the very best time of my life, but last summer I made a conscious decision not to return and was very happy with this choice up until the social media swarm of friends returning hit me. I realise I’ve spent the last month dwelling on the past and how much better it was. This realisation, of how much time I spend stuck in the past and not looking forward to the future is mind blowing, and a huge waste of time.