Because you learn so much more one year in.
1. That little job of theirs, putting the bins out once a week, will soon become one of your least favourite past times. Well leaving for work covered in bin juice and egg shell remnants is always a winner isn’t it?
2. That £10 bottle of Sanctuary Luxury Bath Foam will go down a lot quicker than you thought because apparently it makes their skin oh so soft.
3. Tackling brown stains on the bottom of the toilet will becoming your least favourite routine on a Saturday.
4. They will know your period cycle better than you and casually book in a weekend and evenings with the lads during your ‘dark time’.
5. You will ring them in hysterics every time Netflix is ‘currently unavailable’.
6. Your Sky bill will slowly start to increase and you’ll find that little gem of a channel, BT Sport, has creeped into your TV listings. Now how did that get there?
7. Refusing to let go of their PS3 games even though they now have a PS4 is the norm apparently.
8.You will find Apple chargers and Apple ear phones everywhere, it seems Apple products are to men the equivalent of candles to women.
9. They will add Original Source Mint Shower Gel to your weekly Boots splurge because apparently it ‘feels nice on their balls’. Charming.
10. The Walking Dead, The Leftovers, Hannibal, Ray Donovan and all those other uplifting TV series will take up your entire Sky Planner. Oh and Downton keeps getting deleted. Fun.
11. The huge pile of freshly washed towels will go down to two within three days. Boys need a towel a day you see.
12. You will regularly find 7 empty pint glasses next to his bed side, apparently they get thirsty in the night.
13. Re-doing the washing up is a real fun one.
14. You will get that funny feeling in the pit of your stomach every time you see them doing a bit of DIY. Well it’s just sexy isn’t it?
15. Discovering they have more bags than you, well rucksacks, will come as a bit of a shock.
16. Arriving home after a terrible day at work and a long commute to find he has cooked you a kids dinner consisting of chicken nuggets, smiley faces and beans alongside a bottle of Pinot, candles and matching cutlery will make your heart almost burst and you’ll probably have an emotional breakdown over your Heinz.
17. You will find them using your very expensive hairspray to ‘set their hair’. So that’s the Tangle Teaser and my hairspray they keep ‘borrowing’. Will my dry shampoo be next?
18. That one night a week you treat yourself to a bath, will often include them spending 20 mins in the bathroom “running your bath” only for you to find the lingering smell they leave could evacuate a small country.
19. The amount of gadgets in your home will outweigh the number of beauty products you own. I’m serious.
20. They will fill your car at least once a month and head to the dump. The persona they adopt at the dump including: a pumped out chest, pencil behind the ear and carrying that wooden plank you apparently had in your back garden over their shoulder will be quiet something.
21. They will continue to forget to buy fruit and veg during a food shop and bring home whatever is on offer in bulk and enough meat to feed the cast of Game of Thrones.
22. A shared lie in will be your absolute favourite time of the weekend.
23. You will fight over the remote on a Saturday morning. Saturday Kitchen Live vs Soccer AM. He will almost always let you win.
24. He will understand ‘that look’ and head off to the shop to buy you chocolate without having to even ask.
25. Beard trimmings. Everywhere. Including your tooth brush. Yum.
26. Apparently owning 50 roll on deoderants isn’t enough for them.
27. Being promoted to the premier league on Football Manger is a big deal and apparently a cause for celebration.
28. He will come to hate these three words you repeat at least 5 times a week: “I’m too tired”.
29. You will realise that at times it’s really, really hard and will often question the male race never mind why you’re actually together.
30. Going home to him every night will the best part of your day.